The day after I had been taken to Heaven, I decided to give my life to Jesus. I left the apartment that night around 10:00pm after I had finished grocery shopping downtown 10pm after grocery to give my boyfriend some space. I drove out toward the parking lot of the Central Market and on the way I was praying to God how I wanted to leave the world and just give my life to Jesus. I told God that I didn't want my life or anything in it if it wasn't with Jesus, and I didn't want anything in the world without Jesus.
When I got to the parking lot and prayed, nothing happened. I was confused without having a vision or experience. What had just happened? I just had this experience from God had just revealed Himself to me in this beautiful way and now here I was to Jesus wondering if He heard me at all. I even yelled up to Heaven, "Do you hear me, Jesus?! Are you there?!" I assumed if I gave my life to Jesus, I would have this feeling in my heart. Yet, nothing happened. I began to cry.
I called my mom in my tears. She picked up the phone and I told her my story how God just took me to Heaven and showed me all this peace and love on the other side. She began to cry, too, thanking God for answering her years of prayers. She had been going to a church where her and some people had been praying for me for seven years. I asked my mom why I was trying to give my life to Jesus and nothing was happening. That’s when she tried to calm me down and said, “I want you to do something. I want you to trust.”
“Trust?” I thought. I couldn’t think of what the word trust actually meant. My life had been filled with so much fear and chaos, I had no idea what it meant to feel secure. "I don’t understand what that means.” She said, "I want you to trust that even though you aren't feeling anything or seeing anything, that God hears you." This was a big emotional and logical leap for me. I was used to evidence. I was used to trusting in what I saw and what I felt. “Okay,” I replied. I hung up the phone and I decided to go for a drive to the Central Market.
It was 3:00am when I sat in the parking lot to pray and “trust God” when I saw the trees swaying in the night breeze, and remembered how God is within everything and God is with me because God is in the trees. That’s when I trusted God from within my heart, and I went into a vision. I felt so much peace, love, and joy that it completely melted away all of my fears. For the first time in my life, I knew what it was to live without fear.
A vision of a ballerina made of golden Light came out of my heart and was dancing to Heaven alongside a double-helix of Light. As a young girl, I had dreamt of being a ballerina, but I gave up on my lessons, and regretted it ever since. But, in this moment, it was like God saw me for who I was. Even though I wasn’t a ballerina on the outside, to God I was a ballerina in my heart.
You are made for Peace, Love, and Joy
God Bless,
Kathryn Elsie
