I met God in a vision on my birthday. Shortly after, I nearly died and went to Heaven.
About Me
My name is Kathryn Lynn Elsie. I was born on July 1, 1987 in a small coastal city in Florida known as Pensacola. I grew up along the water, playing with my friends, doing my favorite things like drawing, baking cake, writing poetry, fishing at the bay, riding bicycles, playing the flute, going to school, and spending lots of time with my grandmother cooking in the kitchen. While I grew up going to church every just about every Sunday, at a very young age, I had a crisis of faith. Around the age of 14, I began to think maybe God wasn't real. I made a decision to leave Christianity and all religion behind to become an atheist. On my journey to atheism, I said a prayer to God when I was 14, that if He were real, then one day He would need to reveal Himself to me personally. I waved goodbye to God and lived my life to the full. I traveled the world, visited other countries, made friends online, explored other cultures, and went to college. Then, fifteen years later, on my birthday of July 1, 2016, God answered my prayer from long ago.
I met God in a vision on my birthday. A few days later, I nearly died and went to Heaven.
This is my story.
The Vision from God
This happened on July 1, 2016 on my 29th birthday while living in Austin, TX. It was the most beautiful and profound experience of my life. I had been an atheist for fifteen years. I wanted to be a scientist. I believed in the physical reality and only the physical dimension, but that began to change when I moved to Austin to find a sense of fulfilment. Instead, I found the ultimate fulfillment. I found God. I hope this story helps anyone who does not believe in God or the afterlife. There is only a God of infinite light and love, forgiveness and kindness. You are loved, forgiven, and only seen in pure light and love by God and the angels in Heaven.
Zilker Park
It was July 1, 2016 and I was living in Austin, TX with my then-boyfriend with my then-boyfriend of six years. We had been living together and found ourselves to be best friends, but we had a difficult time in our relationship. We were going to couples therapy because we were having trouble in our relationship learning to communicate and find healthy boundaries. Otherwise, we could be the best of friends. I often found we thought so alike, that he was my universe person and I was his. On this birthday, I decided we would go to Zilker park, have a picnic, and fly a kite. I got a red heart-shaped kite from one of the kite stores in the area after we had eaten out at the local gluten-free restaurant. We arrived at Zilker Park, we found a spot around the perimeter facing the rocks in the center, next to a tree. We parked near the spring where they had a pool people could swim in. When our picnic was done and we finished flying our heart-shaped kite in the air, we got into a silly fight about where we parked, but instead of letting it go, our argument lasted to the way home.
I ended up going for a walk for hours afterwards, feeling unable to let it go. I didn’t know what to do but to ask for space. When I came back to the apartment, on the night of my birthday, I asked him if he could leave for the night and I could have the place alone to think. He understood and and he cordially said he would find a place to stay with a friend for a bit so I could have some space.
Ice Cream
When he left, I tried to make the day right by going out for ice cream. I went to my favorite Thai restaurant that had vegan ice cream, got a vegan, gluten-free brownie, and then went to the grocery store to grab an assortment of toppings like whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles, and maraschino cherries that I thought would make me feel better. By the time I got home, all the shops were closing so it was around 10pm or 10:30pm by the time I put on Netflix and put my ice cream sundae together, I took a bite while standing in the kitchen. I took one bite and threw it out, disappointed and sad. I realized nothing could fill the void in my heart.
A Prayer to God
I suddenly said a prayer to someone in the universe, someone who was both within the universe and outside of it: someone who could see me, and hear me. I said a prayer to “God” though I did not have the words “God” at the time, just a visual image in my head. I said to God, “What else is there?”
I wanted to know what was on the other side. I wanted an experience of something beyond. I began to piece together over the last few years or months in Austin going to yoga classes and meditation groups, and learning about love in couples therapy, that there must be a spiritual dimension or reality, something beyond the physical, where there is a constancy to things because here everything is fleeting, and, we, as humans, seem to be hardwired to seek what is lasting or something beyond what our temporary experiences here of Earth can offer. I got nothing. When I got nothing, I was sad, disappointed, and maybe a little upset at God. I said in my own head, “This is the first time I’m speaking to you in years, and you’re not going to answer me?! If you were so loving and so concerned about our spiritual welfare and the salvation of souls or whatever, wouldn’t you even be glad that I was speaking to you?” I started crying. I felt God didn’t care about me. I felt God did not care that I was even talking to Him. I felt like I did when I was a child, trying to have some relationship with this Creator by going to church and asking Him into my heart and getting nothing in return. I felt like I just “gave my all to god” like I did when I was a child and there was just silence.
A Prayer for Forgiveness
I thought, somehow, maybe I asked the wrong question. In my tears, I began to think of all of the years of my relationship, the last six years, the pain, and the heartache. My heart felt so heavy and weighed down, like there was so much I was carrying and holding onto emotionally that I didn’t know what to do with it. I began to sob and weep profusely at how much emotional pain I was actually in from my whole lifetime of events. I thought about my mom who came by the last year and talked with me about her church and how she spoke of forgiveness. I believed forgiveness was a Christian concept, something good and well-natured, but that I didn’t have that. I believed people who were Christians wanted to forgive or intended to forgive others, but did not truly forgive inside of their hearts. I think they still held onto it so much so that forgiveness seemed almost magical, vague, elusive, and impossible, or distant. How could you know whether you actually forgave someone on the inside? I said to God, “Fine, if you’re not going to answer me that… then I want to know what it’s like to forgive.”
A Waterfall of Light
When I asked God to know what forgiveness is like, a waterfall of pure, white light came pouring into my heart from up above. I felt so completely flooded with such immense peace, love, joy, and forgiveness, that I was transported to what I can only describe as another place or dimension that felt like Heaven.
The Vision from God
I found myself standing in Zilker Park, but everywhere I looked there was this pure, white light that contained only peace, love, and joy. I saw the rocks at Zilker park, the trees, the grass, and the sky that was just shining with this pure, white light or what was the Light of God. Everything looked greener than green. It was like nature had been magnified. I could see this light shining through and within everything.
Forgiveness
I saw our sunny day together in Zilker park, how we ended up fighting in the car. God showed me that, even though I felt badly about our fight, God showed me He wasn’t judging us. I had felt badly about our fight that day, but God and the angels showed me that there is no judgement for humanity. God and the angels aren’t judging us or anyone. Without this, they could not love. I felt so much forgiveness coming from the light of God.
The Tree of Life
I then saw my then-boyfriend walking away from me to my left over a grassy field, with a tiny, straight and narrow path, and with a hill. On top of the hill was a young tree. I understood that He would become this tree as he believed in God. I had so much love and forgiveness for my boyfriend. I wanted the very best for him. I understood that, for some reason, we would need to part ways in order for Him to find God and become this tree. He needed to go on his own path. I had so much forgiveness for him, even if it meant that he would find someone else in life to be with. I simply wanted the very best for him.
You are Never Alone
I then saw God looking over Austin, like I was looking over the Earth through God’s eyes. God showed me that I am never alone and no one is ever alone here on Earth. His Light is always there, shining through the clouds and throughout the whole Earth, even though we do not see it. God showed me The light is of the spiritual dimension, and in the physical dimension, we do not see God’s light, but it is still there. The light is shining at such a high frequency that we do not see it physically, with our physical eyes, and can only see it spiritually, or in the spiritual dimension.
The Souls of the Earth
I saw, through God’s eyes, all of the soul’s of the Earth, looking over the city of Austin. Every soul looked like a marble white crystal ball, full of beautiful cracks and fissures of silver light. I did not see people in their human form, only their soul. God showed me every soul of all these different religions around the city of Austin near Zilker Park. There were Buddhist souls, Hindu Souls, Muslim souls, atheist souls, Christian souls, Jewish souls, agnostic souls, etc. God showed me that they are all His children. They cannot not be because they are made in His image and that image is love and light of God. What matters to God is the love a person has, not their individual religion, or their lack of religion. God showed me that even though many atheists lack a religion or a faith in God, it doesn’t mean they are any less spiritual than anyone else. Because they have a soul, they are spiritual, even though they don’t know it or believe in God. God doesn’t necessarily need them to believe in Him, only to love because that love comes from God.
Peace on Earth
While God was showing me every soul of every religion, He showed me how there could be peace on Earth or peace with religions if people of different religions would stop fighting about which religion is right. When religious people learn to stop fighting with one another, or trying to convert the other, it will actually help them connect to God more, and it will look better to people who aren't religious because then they see you living out your faith!
Love Worships God
I saw that love worships God. The love a person or soul had, regardless of their individual religion, came from their soul as a sparkling, white light that floated up toward The Light of God or Heaven and worshipped God. That love and light that comes from a person’s soul reunited with His Light and then became part of the Light. God is pleased with love and when people treat one another with love and kindness. He showed me it doesn’t matter how many worship songs you sing, but the love you have for yourself and others that matters to God.
The Nature of Nature
I was still in a daze and did not feel I knew exactly where I was or what was happening. I felt as though I was still trying to grasp my bearings and what was happening. I looked around amazed and bewildered, looking around in Zilker park at the grass that was greener than green and the trees which all had the light of God shining out of them, like the glory of God. I could see the nature did not, in and of itself, contain this Light, but it was given the Light by God. Without that Light, nature is mere dust, matter, (or darkness) and merely creation. It is not the thing to be worshipped.
Where am I?
I was still in a daze and did not feel I knew exactly where I was or what was happening. I felt as though I was still trying to grasp my bearings and what was happening. I looked around amazed and bewildered, looking at the grass that was greener than green and the trees which all had a light shining out of them, like the glory of God, and wondered where I was and what I was seeing and I began to think. I said, “What is this?” I looked around and wondered if I was in the presence of an extraterrestrial. I said, “No, this is too pure to be an extraterrestrial being.”
Seven Words
I stood up and seven words began to appear before me in the sky or in the air. The words came out from The Light. The words were, “Peace”, “Love”, “Joy”, “Beauty”, “kindness”, “forgiveness”, and “truth.” When the word, “truth” appeared, I looked to my right and I tried to fathom where I was and what was happening. I felt I was seeing seven lessons that I would learn on the Earth. The experience was so overwhelming and otherwordly, I still could not quite grasp where I was. There was just pure, white light everywhere surrounding the whole world, and I was standing there in front of and surrounding by this complete and total purity. I tried, in my scientific mind, to grasp where I was and what was happening by analyzing the possibilities. Somehow the possibility that I was in the presence of an extraterrestrial being seemed possible. I said, “What if I’m in the presence of an extraterrestrial being?”
Seeing God
When I realized I was not in the presence of an extraterrestrial being, I said, “Oh my god, this is God. God has come to me. I am in the Presence of God!” I was so floored that God had come to me personally that I was meeting the living God. I knew I was in the Presence of God The Father, not Jesus, or someone else, but God The Father. He came to me out of the Light almost like a white mannequin. He was in the form of a man, a perfect man who was in his 30s and yet very old and ancient at the same time. He was this perfect man, the man I had been looking for my whole life. I said, “Oh my God, I am in the presence of God!” God has come to me!
God as a Person
When I realized I was standing in front of God, I was floored. God had come to me and I could not stop crying and weeping that God had come to me personally. I looked at God as if He came out of the Light. He, Himself, was a person within the Light. The Light is merely God’s energy or God’s glory. It comes out of Him. It is Him, and yet, it is not Him. It is merely the energy coming out of Him, out of who He is as a person. When I realized I could know God as a person, I saw God closely, standing in front of me. I could see inside of His body, filled with millions and billions of diamonds and crystals. I realized I was seeing every soul of the entire universe in His body.
The Creation of the Universe
At some point, God showed me all of creation. I saw from the time of the big bang, to the creation of the Earth, to our present time, and the time of the ascension into Heaven, and it was like nothing. I held the universe, and it was like nothing. All of the physical matter that created it, it had no weight. It was a mere creation. I held the Earth, and it was like nothing. It had no weight, but what did have weight, was God's glory or presence. God's presence had the weight.
The Beginning of Time
Somehow, I went into the beginning of time before anything existed. I saw God as though I was behind Him/Her, as though God was something like a brain peering out into the universe before it was created, with two halves to make a whole. God had a left-brain and a right-brain or feminine half and a masculine half. The two together created a whole. God is male-and-female (together) and this is how God makes all creation in His image of male and female ("Let us make them in our image..."). In the beginning, before anything or anyone was created, God sat with Himself/Herself. God (the male half) was content to simply "be", but the feminine half of God wanted to express herself and go outward to create life. God (the masculine half) realized this was unloving not to allow her to express herself, so He allowed the Female (or the feminine half of God) to do this and create life. From her the universe was formed in an explosion of Light. All of us, are a reflection of this male-and-female duality within God.
The Universe 2.0
I understood from watching this, we are in the Universe 2.0. Another universe existed prior to this, in which there were different mathematical parameters to define it and set the conditions, yet, at some point, we switched over to the present condition of the universe, with a different set of laws and mathematical parameters, yet we always existed and will always exist.
Idolatry
God showed me during this experience that anything we put before God becomes idolatry or an idol. I understood there was no judgement coming from God for this. God doesn't judge us or humanity for having idols, but it is simply not good or beneficial for us to not put God first. God showed me above the Earth and I looked out over the Earth at all humanity, and showed me even wanting to do good, like helping others, can be an idol if we put it before God.
Holding the Earth
At some point, God showed me all of creation. I saw from the time of the big bang, to the creation of the Earth, to our present time, and the time of the ascension into Heaven, and it was like nothing. I held the universe, and it was like nothing. All of the physical matter that created it, it had no weight. It was a mere creation. I held the Earth, and it was like nothing. It had no weight, but what did have weight, was God's glory or presence. God's presence had the weight. God showed me that anything we put before God becomes idolatry or an idol. I understood there was no judgement coming from God for this. God doesn't judge us or humanity for having idols, but it is simply not good or beneficial for us to not put God first. God showed me above the Earth and I looked out over the Earth at all humanity, and showed me even wanting to do good, like helping others, can be an idol if we put it before God.
The Throne of God
Suddenly, I was taken to the throne of God. I saw God, way up, seated on a white throne, that was very basic and square in shape, very little decoration. I found myself standing on God’s shoulder, like a tiny angel, looking at His face, holding His face, like He was my best friend, like I had just found my best friend. I was exstatic! Full of joy and exstacy, like, “Oh my God, God! Look how awesome you are!!! Look how amazing you are!! Oh my God!!” like I was screaming my head off and could explode with how much energy and excitement I had at just being with Him. He was my best friend.
Seeing Jesus
Out of the Light came the figure of Jesus, who spoke to me in scripture and said, “I am the light of the world.” The sentence, “I am the light of the world.” floated toward me and came into my heart or chest area. I said, “Oh my God, I remember this from growing up in the Methodist church.” In the Methodist church, we learned the bible really well. It may not have always been enjoyable, but I remember reading as a child the bible line by line, word for word.
The Four Angels
I remember looking up and seeing angels in the clouds, above Zilker park. The angels were large, and there were four of them with multiple wings. They were wearing white robes and they were standing before the throne of God saying, “Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God almighty, who was, and is, and is to come!” When I saw this, it was the most beautiful thing. I stood there looking saying, “Oh my God, this is glorious! Glorious!” I stood in awe of them and the song they were singing over and over. I just wanted to be like them, worshipping before the throne forever and ever. You never get tired of it, and I could feel how you never get tired of it. It’s like the most beautiful song you could ever sing. I saw them and said, “Oh My God, that’s who I am! That’s who I want to be!” When I said this, I found myself floating into one of the angel’s body, and then I was taken to a place where I became like them.
Learning Scripture
I learned scripture in Heaven with God and the four angels. The angels were like four big angels, with multiple wings, writing scripture on the wall in script of golden light, like cursive, for me to feast on and learn. They were feasting on the word of God and worshipping it.
The Bible
God showed me the bible during the experience and explained without words that the bible is completely true and contains no contradictions. However, sometimes people perceive contradiction within it, and when they perceive contradiction, they begin to believe it contradicts itself. In this world, we get what we believe, even if those beliefs are false, so one thing God did show me is the bible is true and completely congruent within itself, even if people don't understand it. This is because it is the word of God, so it makes sense people won't understand it fully. However, the meaning is the most important thing.
God showed me the most important thing to learn from the bible is love. If you only learn and understand the verses of Jesus, "Love one another" or "Love your neighbor as yourself," you've pretty much learned the main point of the bible, even if you haven't read it all, because you understood the highest thing because everything Jesus and the scriptures taught about are meant to lead to this! This is what Jesus means when He said that He fulfills the law. Jesus fulfills the law of love. He lives it out so perfectly that He is love and kindness and we are meant to be that love and kindness, too. This is our only purpose.
God explained that it is important to read scripture or the bible every day, even if it is difficult to understand, and even if it is archaic, because the bible is spiritual and it is good for your soul. Every word of the bible comes from God, and so, when you read it, you are feeding your soul.
God then showed me all of the knowledge and books of the Earth, academic books, university books, and the words within them were kind of empty. It wasn't like it didn't have meaning or they couldn't help you to grow, but these books didn't contain the light of God, so the words were like darkness. You could walk away knowing a lot of knowledge and being very educated, but it doesn't compare to learning the word of God.
The Seven Angels
Then, I became like one of the seven angels before the throne of Jesus. We were all there, worshipping God before the throne, and there were seven of us. We were standing in front of the throne of Jesus, and He had really big feet. I could see His feet right in front of me and we had trumpets and we were worshipping God. I saw the throne of Jesus, and His throne felt more ornate. There were two thrones: one throne of God, and one throne of Jesus, but I went to both of them. At the throne of Jesus were the symbols Alpha and Omega. Jesus showed me the true nature of time.
The Nature of Time
I stood within a swirling vortex of sparkling white light before the throne. Time never ends and time is eternal. It is past, present, and future, all rolled into one. It is always moving forward and into somewhere and that forward direction is called “the future”. Because it is always in motion and always going forward, the future has already happened, will happen, and will always happen. Past, present, and future are all one and happening at the same time. However, the present moment is where we live. You must live in the present moment to truly enjoy life and that’s where you find peace. When I saw all of this, Jesus quoted scripture to me. He said, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”
In the Place of Moses
Suddenly, I was taken back into time, to the time of the Old Testament. I stood in the place of Moses in the Old Testament and I saw myself as Moses looking at God in the sky. I saw myself standing there as Moses, as a man in the desert, with God, as this white light shining in the clouds or in the sky in front of him. I remember being Moses and standing in front of God and the Old Testament in the desert, meeting God like He was my best friend. God showed me that He was the same God in the New Testament, but that people had misunderstood Him. He was the same God of unconditional light and love that people experience today, but the Old Testament is very misunderstood, and people do not see His true nature of Unconditional love within it. I remember, as a child, having difficulty with understanding the Old Testament. I believed it was true and that Moses was true, and I believed Jesus was true and He died for our sins, but I had difficulty seeing the God of the Old Testament and Jesus of the New Testament Jesus seeming like the same person. In my mind, Jesus taught all about love and kindness, compassion, and non-judgement, but the Old Testament God seemed like a God of punishment, so I had difficulty reading the Old Testament because one felt like a God of punishment and the other felt like a God of love, but I feel God was showing me this because I had so much trouble with this as a child, and that humanity needed to know this as well. He is the same, now, forever, and always.
Child of God
Suddenly, I found myself taken up to a place where I stood before God above the Earth, and I was just standing there surrounded by pure, white light. I remember feeling so completely and utterly perfect to God, just like I was a child. I knew God had many other children out there over the earth, but it was like I was the only one. It was like I was the only one and I felt so completely and utterly loved. I remember thinking how silly it was that people grovel before God, but we don’t need to grovel before God because He loves us. He loves us like children, and we are perfect to Him, so we don’t need to grovel. We can just stand before God. The hands of God came toward me and came into my chest. He put the backs of His hands together and put them into my chest and then pushed away all of my sin as far as the East is from the west. When God did this, the scripture appeared to me, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” I understood that because God has taken away our sin, God and the angels do not see our sin when they look at us. They just see us as perfect children, who we truly are, so we can be free before God.
Suffering of Humanity
God showed me all of the suffering of the Earth. I saw all of humanity’s suffering and how no soul was ever alone during this suffering, even though they felt like it. I could see through God’s eyes, that He is always with them, even though they felt alone during their suffering. I even saw women being raped and tortured in basements, women who were kidnaped, going through the worst and most horrific types of experiences of life, and seeing how much God loved them and was with them.
God’s Love for Murderers
I also saw God’s love for the perpetrators of these crimes, the men who find, kidnap, rape, and torture women, and that God loves both of them equally. God doesn’t remove His love from anyone, even the worst human perpetrator, even someone who humanity would like to hate, judge, or kill. God showed me His love for these people is equal and the same. God showed me all of the murderers in the bible, from the time of Adam and Eve in the garden, to the time of Moses, King David, and Paul the Apostle. Each of the most renowned people in Christianity and in the bible were murderers, and they are loved and forgiven by God and cherished by others. It is humanity’s job to learn to do the same to others who murder.
God on the Death Penalty
For some reason, God showed me the nature of the death penalty, especially electrocution in a chair, and how it goes against the values of love and forgiveness that God has. God is forgiveness and the only thing a person needs to do to forgive is accept that unconditional forgiveness that is always there. A person doesn’t deserve to die or be punished by another human being, no matter the crime they have committed, since they are innocent to God and have been forgiven by Him. God is forgiveness for everyone on Earth, even the people who are considered the worst offenders by man. One person is actually no different from the other, even if people think they are. If you have ever been angry at someone, you have already murdered someone in your heart, because the anger causes you to want to harm another human being. When someone is alive, they still have time to forgive themselves and to forgive others.
Held by God
Suddenly, I came into an experience, before the beginning of time, when I was held in the arms of God. God looked like a very tall man in a white robe. I was like a new soul. I was like a sparkling bubble full of bright pink light (almost fuchsia) like the color of an azalea. I saw God as a Father and as a Mother. God was a Father, but inside, He was a Mother. God held me in His arms and yet He was a mother or a woman on the inside. I felt this duality within God, this Father-Motherness. I understood that God is male-and-female, mother-and-father, and we are all in this image of male and female as well and God has made us this way. I felt like a new-born baby completely still within my soul.
I knew no fear or anxiety as I had struggled with on Earth when I was being held by God, just total stillness or freedom from anxiety and fear within my heart. I understood during this experience as fear as an emotion that comes from underneath the heart of a person, and makes it jump around, but it is false, because fear is an illusion. We can have stillness with God, like we are a baby in His arms, when we are free from this fear. The scripture came to me during this experience, “Be still, and know that I am God.” I felt and lived the meaning of this and it bought me to tears.
Prebirth Space
While I was being held in the arms of God, I looked up towards the sky with the Earth in the background behind God as though the Earth were a giant bubble. I understood I was in a pre-birth space, a time before pre-birth on Earth, but a time after we come from a big gap or hole in the sky to come to Earth, where there is a pre-birth realm in the universe within the stars or space above the Earth, yet somehow beneath Heaven. I saw this space as a square cutout in the Earth’s sky or atmosphere, that led to the universe where people came from before they were dropped into the Earth. God did not show me what was up there, whether it was a school or anything, or a classroom, but I know we come from that space above the Earth before we come to Earth in our bodies before we are created in our mother’s wombs. Before each one of us comes into Earth, or before each of us goes into our mother’s or a human body, we are held in the arms of God. Then, God released me into the Earth that was behind Him, and I came into the Garden of Adam and Eve.
The Garden of Adam and Eve
While I was in the Garden of Adam and Eve, it was like a tropical paradise, full of lush green trees and plants. I was with Adam and Eve and stood with them as beings of light. I could not see their physical human form, only their spiritual form, and they were pure beings of white light who danced before God like they were children. I stood before God with them and danced with God like I was a child, completely free and happy. I saw myself looking at God’s face, all bright and shiny, full of white light, and then I became like God and looked at myself through God’s eyes dancing at Him, like I was a toddler, very happy and free.
Like a Child
Then, God put me into my mother’s womb, and I saw myself being born into the Earth realm as a new soul. I became like a human three-year-old child, dancing before God, very happy. I understood it is like this love of a mother that God has for every human being when He releases us into our mother’s wombs. Mother’s love their children, but then allow them to go free, grow up, and be happy, hoping always they will come back but never sure they will return. This is how it is with God and the souls of the Earth. God has to allow us this freedom in order for us to truly live and be happy.
Free and Happy
As I left God, like a child dancing off into the Earth into nature, I was like a ballerina and felt completely free to explore the world and be happy.
Hearing God's Voice
I looked up at God’s Light over the face of the Earth, and then God spoke to me audibly within my heart. I heard God’s voice from within my heart. Immediately, I understood that our hearts have ears and can hear, and I would be able to hear the audible voice of God from within my heart while I was here on the Earth. God said the words, “Come home.”
The Vision of My Heart
In the Kitchen
When the vision ended and I found myself back in the kitchen like nothing had happened. I don’t know how long I was gone for, but I knew on Earth time about only three minutes had passed. While I was standing in the kitchen, I felt my heart turn to stone. All of the peace, love, joy, and forgiveness from the vision I had left me and I felt my heart as it truly was from all of the years of hurt and abuse that I had experienced in my life. My heart was so hard and heavy, like it was made of stone. I was so afraid that God had just left me there without any peace, love, or joy. I felt abandoned by God and scared. The scripture came to me which said, "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ezekiel 36:26
The Vision of My Heart
God came to me and showed me a second vision, and He took me on a vision into my chest. I could see inside of my chest like it was a room full of darkness. I could see my physical, beating heart sitting in there. My heart looked black. God showed me that our hearts are like a gateway between the physical world and the spiritual world. What we fill our hearts with affects us on a spiritual level, whether we fill our hearts with good things or bad things. I saw there was like a shadow or a veil over my heart and it was like the consistency of paper mache. It was light and it had no real weight or power. This is what many people call "satan" or "the devil" but this darkness is simply darkness and it has no power. Then, God spoke to me audibly. He said, "Without Me, your heart is in darkness..." Then, God said, "but with me...
The Light of God
The white light of God shone from out of my heart and burst out like a ray of sunshine. The beautiful white Light of God from the vision was living inside of me. I knew This Light lives within all of us and all humanity, but people don't know that it's there. The scripture verse came out of my heart and toward me, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5 I remembered what God had written from all those years ago when I was growing up in church.
"...there can be so much peace. Come home."
On the Floor
The peace and love of God filled my heart. I fell to the floor of the kitchen and cried. I put myself against the wall near the window to contemplate what had just happened. I knew we were all lost on the Earth without God and living in darkness. I knew what the Christians had said was true and we needed God to be our light.
Angels Everywhere
When I got up from the floor, I could see feel the presence of angels with me and I could see angels in every direction. There were thousands of them surrounding me, everywhere, spread throughout the Earth. They were shoulder to shoulder, touching as if there were no spaces between them. I looked out across the Earth and could not see a space that was not filled with an angel from Heaven.
I knew they were kind and benevolent creatures, completely free from fear or judgement, only looking out for the good of humanity, but I could see them now and they were a wonderful comfort to me at the time.
I felt self-conscious when I began to see and feel then, because I knew they saw me at even my most private moments (like going to the bathroom and other things that I worried about), but I knew they only loved me. It is humanity who judges ourselves, or others. This is because we often have deep-seated beliefs that we are being judged by God or Heavenly creatures, but this is just a projection from our own personal understandings of religion. God and the angels do not judge humanity because this is the oposite of love.
The angels were all wearing white robes, like many of the traditional depictions display. This is how they first appeared to me, and it was beautiful. After this, I could always feel Archangel Michael and Gabriel with me, and all of the seven archangels, protecting me. Even though I did not see them constantly or all the time, I could always feel their presence with me. I think this was God's way of letting me know after Heaven that I was never alone.
I Saw the Light of God
The day after my birthday, I could not shake what had just happened. I knew I could easily chock up the experience as something I imagined and move on with life as an atheist who only believed in the physical world, but I knew that was too easy. I could not deny what I had just seen and experienced. It was the most profound and real thing I ever experienced in my life. I knew I needed to investigate it more.
Akiane Kramarik
I went to Google and typed in the only thing I knew to type in: "I saw the light of God." I knew there had to be others like me who had experienced this and Google would be the best place to find that. One of the first things I found was the painting of Jesus by Akiane Kramarik called Prince of Peace. When I saw this painting, I knew immediately in my heart that it was the real Jesus, and this is how Jesus actually looked when He was on the Earth. For the first time, I found paintings and works of art that really touched my heart. I had a love of art growing up and thought I would a flutist, study photography, or even be a pastry chef, but this was art that felt truly meaningful because it was about Heaven.
Hank Williams
I also found the song, "I Saw the Light" by Hank Williams. I watched it and began to cry. Here were Christians who I might've judged for their ignorance, but singing about The Light that I had just experienced.
Preeti Krishnan
The next thing I found was the story of Preeti Krishnan, a Hindu woman, who had an encounter with Jesus as The Light from a Gideon’s Bible. I felt so jealous of her experience because she described feeling completely and utterly safe with Jesus. I wanted what she had, too, so I knew I needed to give my life to Jesus, so that’s what I did.
Going to Heaven
In the Kitchen
I came back to the apartment that morning from having given my life to Jesus, where my boyfriend was and went into the kitchen to cut vegetables. I thought about the vision from God I just had and what God had shown me on the other side. I began to ask God, within my own thoughts, what was the difference between religious people like Christians and people who didn’t believe in God like atheists? There actually is no difference because everyone is equal, and there was clearly a God, but some people were able to connect to Him, and some weren’t. I thought about it, and immediately, the answer came to me. It was trust (or what some might call “faith”). Some people, like Christians, trusted that God was both good and present without any physical evidence and some people did not.
The Joy of Jesus Christ
When I realized this, I trusted God from within my heart, and immediately a waterfall of golden light poured in from Heaven into my heart, and I was full of the joy of Jesus Christ. I knew what I was feeling was His Joy and it was not my own. I knew that in the world, outside of God, people cannot have joy. They can only experience happiness because joy is eternal and it comes from God or Jesus only. When this happened, I realized I was finally having the experience I spent years in church praying for as a child, for Jesus to come into my heart! I believed in Jesus, that He died for us, and that He was the Son of God, but I never experienced anything when I asked Jesus into my heart all those years ago. This experience, in part, caused me to lose my faith in God and become an atheist. “Oh my God! Jesus has come into my heart! It is just as the Christians said would happen!” I said. I was so overwhelmed and overcome with joy and ecstasy and thankfulness, like I could not contain myself for finally having this experience.
Walking Out of the Apartment
I looked at my boyfriend in the living room on the sofa having been filled with the joy of Jesus. Not knowing what to say to him since he was an atheist and I did not wish to offend him with my current experience, I simply waved to him and said, “I’m going shopping!” and headed to the car. On the outside, I must’ve seemed cool and calm towards him, like nothing was going on, but on the inside, I was beaming with joy, feeling the golden Light of Jesus having been poured into my heart from Heaven like a waterfall!
It’s Your Time
I walked out of the apartment door down the stairs to the parking lot looking towards Heaven feeling so much peace, love, and joy! When I walked towards the car, I came across the entrance to the parking lot, and a car was coming in off the street into the entrance of the apartment lot, turning toward me very rapidly. I knew the car was about to hit me, and I immediately knew on the inside that it was my time. Everything went into slow motion as I entered into another dimension full of pure, white light. It looked as if I was surrounded by a waterfall of white light floating upwards towards Heaven full of sparkling light of pastels, which were my favorite. I felt only total peace, love, joy and ecstasy as God came to me and said, “It’s your time” in a sentence that floated toward my heart or into my chest.
Emotional Accomplishment
When God said this, I felt a huge sense of relief that my life was finally over. I was exhausted from my life journey and being on Earth, even though I was very young. Years earlier, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and I had grown very tired of college and trying to fit into society. God then explained to me without words that I’ve completed all of my life lessons or experiences that I had come to Earth to learn. I felt down, on some level, because I had dreams of getting a PhD like my friends who became doctors, computer engineers, scientists, and physicists. God spoke to me and reassured me that while my life did not look very accomplished on the outside, my life was very accomplished on the inside, on an emotional level, where it counted most to God. When God said this, I felt a huge sense of relief. I said something like, “Good! Because I am tired of Earth life!”
Going to Crystal City
I looked down and a vision appeared in my chest around my heart. I knew this was a vision from God and it was or would be God’s way of communicating with me. It was a vision of a place called Crystal City.
The city was glassy, blue, and sparkly. It appeared like a painting to me. If I could describe it, I would say it looked like Emerald City from the Wizard of Oz, but icy blue. I was so excited to be going to this city. I said in my heart, “Oh my God, I’m going to Crystal City!” Then, God “came down” to me towards my face or my chest using finger quotes and told me, “On Earth, they call this ‘The Kingdom of Heaven.’”
It was like God had a sense of humor and was winking at me when He said this. I immediately from this that the bible uses different language than is used in the other realms or on the other side.
When God told me that I was going to Heaven, and I fully realized this, I was so happy and so thankful that I was counted worthy by God to go to Heaven. I began to cry. Years ago, I had a brush with death as an atheist where I choked on a giant pill on Mother’s Day and the ambulance had to be called because my mom could not perform CPR. I remembered looking toward a window with fear of the uncertainty of what would happen if I died. This experience came to my mind, and I thought how grateful I was that I was going to Heaven and had no fear!
I had also been an atheist for 15 years and had hurt so many people in my lifetime. God could’ve been unkind toward me or had any reason to turn me away from Heaven, but He didn’t. It was exactly as the scriptures or the Christians had said, that if you believed in Him, you would go to Heaven! The feeling of going to Heaven was like a dream come true. I could not have imagined any better reality or future to be living in. I could not imagine a happier ending to my story.
Leaving My Body
My soul left my body and I started to go up very fast. My soul was this giant oval-shaped crystal or diamond the size of a football and I lived inside of it and could see out of it in every direction. I knew this was my true self and who I really was. I understood that we are not our bodies at all, and everything to do with the body is left behind. I could also see myself from outside of my soul leaving Earth and going up to Heaven. It was like I was watching a movie. I could see and feel myself from within this diamond or crystal as though I was in it and I could see and feel myself from outside of it looking from the outside in, seeing everything at once in from different angles that occurred in interdimensional shifts that appeared like flashes or layers of light. Each glimpse I took, a flash of light appeared like a pane or a window of glass where I was looking. I was both outside of and within myself watching it all happen like a movie, knowing God was with me (beside me) and above me as He was taking me to Heaven. God appeared with me (beside me) during this experience almost like an invisible cloud and in Heaven, like a cloud.
Seeing Kathryn on the Ground
I saw my body (Kathryn) on the ground of the parking lot, as though the car had just hit her and she was lying there dead. I wasn’t afraid of seeing her like this. It was like watching the scene of an accident in a movie or a crime tv show where the body is laying on the ground. On the outside, it would’ve looked like a horrible accident had occurred and a young woman just died, but to me, I felt great peace. I said something like, “Oh, there she is!” sort of calm and nonchalantly. I then waved at her (myself) like I was waving bye and heading off to a better place.
The Golden Cord of Light
As I looked down toward the people on Earth, I noticed there was a golden cord of light going through everyone’s chest or heart center. This golden cord connects every human being on Earth. As close or as far away one human being is from another, is as close or as far away the connection or the cord is. The cord ultimately forms people into something like a giant network or tapestry and our lives become woven together on a spiritual level through these golden cords.
A Symphony of Souls
God then showed me all of the souls on the Earth being orchestrated like a giant symphony. I could see every soul as though it were a sparkle of light in an ocean wave. It was like seeing a wave on the Earth of millions of sparkling crystals or diamonds and each of those diamonds shining at a different frequency, reaching a different height within their life span, and echoing a specific sound into eternity at the height and the weight at which they were. The shapes and weights and sounds of each of these crystals or souls which were the souls of the earth had a different frequency and sound and no one was less than the other because each was necessary to create this symphony of music God was creating through them. Each soul had a beauty. I had grown up playing the flute as a girl. I often dreamed I was the one conducting the orchestra when the music played and I had wanted to join the local symphony when I grew up! I loved music, especially classical music and chorale, and I think this is why God showed me this in this manner. I saw each of the souls producing an individual light that rose up like sparkles or streams of light toward God or Heaven and God weaving it all together. I could not hear the music or the sound of the souls, but I could see it and what God was doing with it.
God is Good
God showed me that every soul on Earth is in God’s hands and He is working all things together for good. He showed me or explained that it doesn’t mean that everything in life will be good, or that we will only have good things happen to us, but it will be created into an ultimate good. Like, when someone breaks a leg, it isn’t necessarily God’s will, but God will take this thing that happened and form it into an ultimate good. This is what God is doing with every soul and every single life on the Earth that is His. This is not just about us, and our lives, but for everyone. For instance, someone might have a life event happen that doesn’t seem good, but their event may be for the good of another soul on Earth. In this, our lives and our pain can end up being very altruistic. God also showed me when I was seeing all of the souls on Earth being orchestrated into this symphony of life, that nothing unloving comes from God. He showed me that it is very important to remember this. He showed me that when something unloving or unkind happens in a person’s life, like abuse, it isn’t necessarily God’s will and that it was important for humanity to know this and understand this so they don’t get confusing ideas about God. God’s will is love and only love and when we act unlovingly or unkind towards others, it is not the will of God. God is the love we share and when people act in love and kindness, this is what comes from God. God showed me or explained to me this verse when he was showing me this:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
(There almost wasn’t a time when scripture wasn’t revealed to me from the bible when God showed me the vision. It’s like he used scripture to explain what was happening. During this process, I think He was teaching me scripture and writing it on my heart or chest.)
Jesus as The Father
During this experience, Jesus came to me. He came to me as a figure of white light, but I knew He was wearing a white robe with a sash around His waist. His arms were open, and He looked like a Father figure or a being of pure, white light. He showed me that if people would relate to or see Him like a loving Father, they would have a much easier time relating to Him. God and Jesus are one and the same, so you cannot separate God from Jesus. This was explained in an instant. When you look to God, you will see Jesus, and when you look to Jesus, you will see God. This is what Jesus means when He says, “I and the Father are One.” Jesus and God are one and the same person. He wanted me to know or explain to humanity that it is best to relate to Jesus as you would a loving Father, and that He is not anyone to be afraid of.
Humanity’s Timeline
When He came to me, I looked over His right shoulder and I saw the Alpha and the Omega, or the beginning and end of all humanity’s timeline on Earth. I saw all of the world events from the time of Adam and Eve in the garden, to the time of the end where there would be a lot of wars and destruction on Earth. Each event or time in Earth’s history was segmented or separated like little eras. When I saw humanity’s timeline, the symbols Alpha (Α) and Omega (Ω) appeared next to Jesus. He showed me that even though there will be many wars and much destruction on the Earth, we do not need to worry about them.
Our Generation
He showed me that it is “our generation” that will see the return of Jesus and we do not need to worry about this. He said that, if we have the Holy Spirit, then He will come get you. He showed me that it’s like Star Trek, where it is like, “Beam me up, Scotty!”
When Jesus showed me this, it eased all of my fears. I had a lot of fears growing up as a child in church about the last day, worried I wouldn’t be taken, or what it would be like. I knew we were living in the last days and I felt it was all very fearful or fear-based. However, Jesus showed me this will be a very joyous event full of white Light. When it happens, there will be white Light of God everywhere and you will be teleported or transported into this Light. If you belong to Him, He will come get you like it’s Star Trek or beam you up!
God on Healing
I was then shown by God that not every person on Earth during this time will be healed physically. He showed part of this is due to a time and place before our Earthly existence called pre-birth that every soul comes through before they come to Earth. I saw this time/place of pre-birth like a little square cutout in the Earth’s atmosphere that led to a place in the universe where we jump through or come through in order to get here into our bodies. In the pre-birth existence or place, each of us creates soul contracts about our lives on Earth and this outlines what will and will not occur during our lifetimes for the benefit of our soul’s development. God showed me that a lack of physical healing could be part of a pre-birth contract and that physical healing is not the most important thing for a person to seek during this time. God is much more concerned during this time with the heart and people learning to forgive one another. It is like you could have a broken leg, but God is much more concerned with the condition of your heart. This is much more important to God than physical healing.
Leaving Earth
As I was going up, I saw the Earth I was leaving behind. I saw the city of Austin and the grassy parks. I saw the apartment and my boyfriend in the apartment where he was. I saw my mom in where she was at on the Earth. I looked at both of them and knew they would be “fine.”
Ecstasy and Joy
As I was going up higher, I began to accelerate very fast. I felt like I was going up through this waterfall of white light like a rocket ship and the feelings of peace, love, joy and ecstasy were increasing exponentially to the point that I was about to explode. I felt such an overwhelming an uncontainable peace, love, joy and ecstasy that I was afraid I was going to die I could not contain much more! I was almost wondering how I was going to make it to Heaven, since there was so much more to go and I could see so many layers of ecstasy to continue onward and up! I saw layers of ecstasy that there are on our journey to Heaven, and each layer increases in a measure of 10,000. It was like 10,000 x 10,000 x 10,000 going whoosh, whoosh, whoosh! I was so overwhelmed by the feeling that I was going to explode, that I was almost afraid I was going to die! I was afraid of going to Heaven, because that’s how much it was! As I was going up, I was full of so much ecstasy, I felt like I was going to explode to the point that I could not contain it any longer and could burst from having so much ecstasy!
Back towards Earth
As I looked down towards Earth over my right shoulder, I was somehow in outer space and yet still surrounded by this white light or white waterfall of light. The Earth was gradually decreasing in size, but as I looked towards the Earth, I could see all of these hearts. These hearts, however, were like shadow hearts. Their hearts were in darkness because they did not know God. I could feel God and the angels explaining to me how there was no judgment for them, but it was simply that they did not know God in their hearts, so their hearts were not lit up with the Light of God. Each of these hearts were connected on a network around the Earth, that looked almost like a cast net, as well, like the souls with the golden cord, but instead of the golden cord, these souls were connected by a cord of darkness. It was like their hearts were all connected in a network around the Earth, and they did not know God. I felt so sorry for them, that I turned toward God and said something like, “Oh, my God! They were just like me! I was an atheist and didn’t know you, but the vision and the story you have given me in the last several days could save them!”
Into My Body
Immediately, I was plunged back into my body. In one second, with no conversations or questions from God, my soul immediately returned to my body. I saw myself looking down to enter my body, at a moment just before the car accident, but this time Kathryn was standing upright and she had not been hit by the car. I felt God suddenly shift the dimension of time so that another reality or dimension occurred where the car did not hit me and I did not die physically, and my soul went back into my body. The next thing I knew, I was standing there looking at the car toward my right, walking back toward the apartment with my things, watching the car suddenly swerve to avoid me, and I was not hit.
I immediately thanked God I was not physically hit, because I would not have been able to handle that emotionally or spiritually! I knew God had rescued me from the experience of going through an actual car wreck and I was sent back into my body without a single bruise or broken bone, as if nothing had happened!
However, I remembered everything that just happened and I felt such peace, love, and excitement! I had just died and gone off to Heaven and was overjoyed!
Quickening of the Spirit
I felt so much shaking energy inside of my body, like, “I need to find some women of God.” I was shaking with like a quickening of the Spirit, and suddenly, for one moment, I said, “I’m no longer afraid of death!” Then, I went back to the apartment where my then-boyfriend was sitting. I sat on the sofa next to him, turned to him and said, “I think God is good.”