The Hand of God

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I woke up that morning to it excited to read my Jesus Calling book that God had just gifted me. It sounded exactly like the God I just met and I knew it would help me to keep in touch with him in a healthy way. I opened up to the passage about worry, which made me think about my own anxiety. I had struggled with anxiety my whole life and no amount of therapy ever seemed to help.

I told God in my heart that it would be nice to feel as though my thoughts weren't racing around in my head all of the time. I moved over to the other side of the couch and laid there in the presence of God. I thought how I could sit there forever. I could still feel the glory of God and the presence of Heaven in the living room with me. I looked out into the Spirit world of what was actually taking place and I can only describe it as an ocean or a sea of golden clouds. I heard God say, "Get on your knees."

I didn't understand this request, at first. After all, God was omnipresent. He could see me from every angle. Why did he need me to get on my knees? However, I thought about it more, and I understood this was an act of humility.

So, I humbled myself toward God, and somewhat reluctantly and embarrassed by what I was doing, I crawled over to the floor of the apartment in front of the window and got on my knees and lifted my hands toward God. I wasn't sure God was going to answer my prayer, or if what I was doing was right, but I did it anyway, out of a sign to show him that I wanted to be humble toward Him.

Just then, the hand of God, reached down from Heaven and went into my mind, held my head and held every thought in my mind captive. It looked as though my thoughts were particles swirling in my mind which contained the universe. I could see the entire universe within my mind, full of stars and galaxies, and all of my thoughts were as little stars swirling so fast I didn’t have mental peace. When God reached His Hand into my mind, the swirling thoughts stopped, as if they were held still in space. I felt peace of mind for the very first time. Yet, I trembled with fear and wanted to remain completely still in this awe of God. I felt how powerful God was. I felt how God could kill me at any second if He wanted to, and yet I felt completely loved. I knew God loved me so much, He would never harm me or do anything like that. I understood, in this moment of being held by God’s hand, that I was a mere creation.

A few minutes later, God lifted His Hand and it went back to His throne room in Heaven, and I walked back to the couch.